Joey is our precious little man. He is a joy to be around, he makes everyone around him smile and it's hard to stay in a bad mood when he goes through the house singing as loud as he can. He has had kids in his Royal Ranger class say that Joey is a cool kid and last week had everyone singing a rousing chorus of "Kumbaya".
And yet, Joey isn't totally accepted. He's still left out of a lot of things. I know it shouldn't be a suprise anymore, but it still hurts when he doesn't get invited to birthday parties or playdates or anything. This past Sunday, once again, one of the boys in his class at church had a birthday party and, once again, Joey wasn't invited. It stung just a little, but I'm trying to learn to expect it. What I didn't expect was to see in pictures that were posted on Facebook that nearly all the other boys in the class had been invited...except for Joey. That slammed into my heart like a spike.
I don't know what quite hurt more, that Joey hadn't been invited or that the parents didn't think I would notice the fact that the other boys were there. Despite the appearance at church that Joey is accepted and welcome, outside of church it's another story. Yes, Joey doesn't do very well in large and noisy crowds. But he is getting better and I'd like to see him be given the opportunity to try to attend things instead of automatically getting shut out.
It honestly would hurt less if people would approach us about it and say "we know Joey isn't comfortable in noisy crowds and we're afraid he wouldn't enjoy himself" and give us the opportunity to say "thank you for considering that". And it's true what Josh says, I don't want Joey to be invited because people think they have to. Pity invites are worse than just being cut out to begin with. I don't want Joey invited unless people really want him to be there.
Yet it still hurts. It hurts to the very core of me. While I do believe Joey feels it as he does ask sometimes why he doesn't have a friend, I think Joey has a skill to just go with the flow and move on. He has much more wisdom than his mommy does. Who wants to be somewhere if they aren't wanted? What fun is there in that?
But my heart still is broken that we have yet to find anyone who truly enjoys Joey and wants to be friends with him. My prayer is that one day he will find a friend. Someday.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
New things in our school
Trying to play catch-up with posting. I've got all kinds of things in my head that I need to write and rarely have a few moments to get them typed out. Here goes. Thankfully I always have the option to come back and edit later.
We've made some recent changes for the boys and I'm very excited that they seem to be working pretty well so far. I posted before about starting the boys on the McGuffey readers and looking into Ray's arithmetic for Jaysen. Both have made a difference! Jaysen is enjoying reading, to the point that he is practicing his reading skills everywhere we go. Even reading street signs and menus and cereal boxes. Reading is finally beginning to click for him and it's beyond words exciting to see him loving his new skills. Joey is also enjoying the books and is beginning to learn new words.
The math was just what he needed. Ray's is based more on mental math and is perfect for Jaysen. He learned back in second grade, on his own and the astonishment of his teacher, to do mental math and has fought tooth and nail to write out his work when doing worksheets. His argument is always "if I can do it in my head why do I need to write it down?" He does make a good point, although it does make it tricky for Mom & Dad to help him fix his mistakes if I can't "see" where he went wrong. But, this is a natural skill for him and a strength and we need to encourage his strengths. Doing mental math was not something that was stressed much when I went to school and to this day I struggle to do math correctly in my head.
We have also decided to try our hand at a unit study. Eeek! Seriously though, I have always been intrigued by them and wanted to try them. It can be a bit overwhelming as they do require some time and effort to plan and prepare. Plus, what topic do you choose? To help with that decision I had the boys watch some documentaries on different topics and noted what caught their attention. Jaysen showed a huge interest in medieval times and the old west/pioneer period. Both are two of my favorite time periods. I did some research and found a literature based unit study based around the Little House On The Prairie book series called The Prairie Primer by Margie Gray. Everything I read about it called out to me that this was just what we were looking for.
I sat down with Josh, showed him the website, we talked and prayed about it. We both felt that this may be a good program for the kids. We asked them what they thought and both boys were really excited about it. So, we bought it! It's going to take some prep work and planning, but as I read through it I know the boys are going to have a lot of fun with it. Now we just have to decide when to start it. I can't wait to get started!
We've made some recent changes for the boys and I'm very excited that they seem to be working pretty well so far. I posted before about starting the boys on the McGuffey readers and looking into Ray's arithmetic for Jaysen. Both have made a difference! Jaysen is enjoying reading, to the point that he is practicing his reading skills everywhere we go. Even reading street signs and menus and cereal boxes. Reading is finally beginning to click for him and it's beyond words exciting to see him loving his new skills. Joey is also enjoying the books and is beginning to learn new words.
The math was just what he needed. Ray's is based more on mental math and is perfect for Jaysen. He learned back in second grade, on his own and the astonishment of his teacher, to do mental math and has fought tooth and nail to write out his work when doing worksheets. His argument is always "if I can do it in my head why do I need to write it down?" He does make a good point, although it does make it tricky for Mom & Dad to help him fix his mistakes if I can't "see" where he went wrong. But, this is a natural skill for him and a strength and we need to encourage his strengths. Doing mental math was not something that was stressed much when I went to school and to this day I struggle to do math correctly in my head.
We have also decided to try our hand at a unit study. Eeek! Seriously though, I have always been intrigued by them and wanted to try them. It can be a bit overwhelming as they do require some time and effort to plan and prepare. Plus, what topic do you choose? To help with that decision I had the boys watch some documentaries on different topics and noted what caught their attention. Jaysen showed a huge interest in medieval times and the old west/pioneer period. Both are two of my favorite time periods. I did some research and found a literature based unit study based around the Little House On The Prairie book series called The Prairie Primer by Margie Gray. Everything I read about it called out to me that this was just what we were looking for.
I sat down with Josh, showed him the website, we talked and prayed about it. We both felt that this may be a good program for the kids. We asked them what they thought and both boys were really excited about it. So, we bought it! It's going to take some prep work and planning, but as I read through it I know the boys are going to have a lot of fun with it. Now we just have to decide when to start it. I can't wait to get started!
Relaxing with a visit to the library
If there's one thing that makes us different from other homeschoolers it's that we don't visit the library as often as we probably should. We're so busy with work and church and just life in general, we don't schedule in library time as much as we should. I don't want to think how long it's been since our last visit, but I made a point of going today. I took Jay with me while Josh stayed home with the other two kiddos (Katie was napping and Joey wasn't interested in going). I don't always get an opportunity to do things with each of the kids so I snap up the opportunities.
Jay and I had a great time. I quickly got the books I was looking for so he would have more time to look for himself and not have to be bored waiting on mom. He had his heart set on finding a book he could read by himself and a book that would be "fun". But, this trip to the library wasn't going too well, the poor kid was getting pretty frustrated and overwhelmed by the selection. He was already dissapointed that someone had already checked out all the Lego books and movies.
I suggested that we try to find something new we'd never heard of before. He wasn't too wild about that idea, he's pretty rigid about things (to be expected with a child with autism). I shared with him how I looked for new books when I was his age. That I would go through the rows, pick out a random book and try it out. I found many wonderful suprise favorites that way. So I did just that, grabbed up a random book and handed it to him. This particular book was one of a series of books, each about a different member of the Knights of the Round Table. Jay still wasn't too sure, especially that this particular one I picked up wasn't the first of the series. We found where the others were, the first one was checked out but the second one was on the shelf. I picked it up, handed it to Jay and suggested he sit down and look through it while I went to grab a book I needed that I forgot. He shrugged his shoulders and went to the reading area. My hope was that after he took a look at it he might get interested in it.
It worked! When I got back I asked him what he thought. He said "well, I like the pictures and it's not a really big book and I know some of the words". I asked him if he thought he'd like to try it and he said he would. I reminded him that if he didn't like it he simply had to bring it back and get something else. Then he said "I think I'll probably like it. I like knights and stuff." Good job kiddo!
I'm working on getting Jay to broaden his interests in books and not stick to the usual super heros and Lego themed choices. For one, there's not that many options in our library system for those and two, I really want him to see how large a world there is in books. Since he started working with the McGuffey readers, his reading has improved big time and he's becomming more confident and excited about reading. I want to cultivate that new found love of reading and open his eyes to just how fun and amazing reading can be, especially if you step away from the "safe zone" and explore something new. He made a first step today.
Jay and I had a great time. I quickly got the books I was looking for so he would have more time to look for himself and not have to be bored waiting on mom. He had his heart set on finding a book he could read by himself and a book that would be "fun". But, this trip to the library wasn't going too well, the poor kid was getting pretty frustrated and overwhelmed by the selection. He was already dissapointed that someone had already checked out all the Lego books and movies.
I suggested that we try to find something new we'd never heard of before. He wasn't too wild about that idea, he's pretty rigid about things (to be expected with a child with autism). I shared with him how I looked for new books when I was his age. That I would go through the rows, pick out a random book and try it out. I found many wonderful suprise favorites that way. So I did just that, grabbed up a random book and handed it to him. This particular book was one of a series of books, each about a different member of the Knights of the Round Table. Jay still wasn't too sure, especially that this particular one I picked up wasn't the first of the series. We found where the others were, the first one was checked out but the second one was on the shelf. I picked it up, handed it to Jay and suggested he sit down and look through it while I went to grab a book I needed that I forgot. He shrugged his shoulders and went to the reading area. My hope was that after he took a look at it he might get interested in it.
It worked! When I got back I asked him what he thought. He said "well, I like the pictures and it's not a really big book and I know some of the words". I asked him if he thought he'd like to try it and he said he would. I reminded him that if he didn't like it he simply had to bring it back and get something else. Then he said "I think I'll probably like it. I like knights and stuff." Good job kiddo!
I'm working on getting Jay to broaden his interests in books and not stick to the usual super heros and Lego themed choices. For one, there's not that many options in our library system for those and two, I really want him to see how large a world there is in books. Since he started working with the McGuffey readers, his reading has improved big time and he's becomming more confident and excited about reading. I want to cultivate that new found love of reading and open his eyes to just how fun and amazing reading can be, especially if you step away from the "safe zone" and explore something new. He made a first step today.
The siren call of the 3-ring binder
This is such a stupid post but I am going to write it anyway. Of all the school supplies I use, the 3 ring binder has become my all time favorite. It's so easy to organize with them, should I ever get the time to sit down and actually organize anything (wink wink). But I do like them. The boys are even getting into how handy they are. We recently switched Jay to a new math book and we found it free online (public domain). I printed up a couple chapters and initially put them in a vinyl folder with the metal tabs. It was nice except the the part where the metal tabs is connected stuck out so far onto the paper that it made it tricky for Jay to keep the pages open without bending them up. I switched it out to a 3 ring binder and he says "Mom this is so much easier to read now". Score one for mom.
I am now fighting to not take every teacher's guide and workbook I have for the kids and whack off the bindings, 3 hole punch everything and stick them all in binders. It's going to become an addiction. Come back to school supply sale time I may be in serious trouble if there are any really excellent sales on 3 ring binders.
I am now fighting to not take every teacher's guide and workbook I have for the kids and whack off the bindings, 3 hole punch everything and stick them all in binders. It's going to become an addiction. Come back to school supply sale time I may be in serious trouble if there are any really excellent sales on 3 ring binders.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
I'm late, I'm late for a very important grade!!
On Wednesday morning I took Joey in for his annual checkup at the pediatrician's office. Kinda scary that this was his final pre-teen checkup (he turned 12 this year), but apparently according to the pediatrician Joey has technically stepped into the realm of adolescence and therefore there was a new form to fill out. A form for kids 12 years old and up that, from all appearances, is a sort of assessment of the mental and emotional state of the patient.
I had to work hard to not laugh right out loud when the receptionist spoke to Joey and told him she had something for him to fill out, considering that he has down syndrome and can't read let alone give written answers. ;) So, we sat down and went over it together. As expected, most of the questions didn't apply to Joey mainly because intelligence-wise they just didn't relate to him. But I came across one question that made me stop and think. The question was if he's happy with his grades. The problem is, we don't give grades.
I have never given my kids "grades" or graded their work. Plus I'm not sure how to assign grades. Personally, I've never liked grades. I've always felt that if a student knows the concept, does a good job on the work and shows they are learning from it, then why are grades necessary? Some would argue so the child will have something to show for their efforts or that they need the reinforcement from seeing how well they've done by a letter grade or that kids need the incentive to work to achieve the next level and other arguments. But, again, I just don't see the need for them for our children. I have taught the boys in the manner that they get their assignment, complete their work then bring the work for me to look over and mark for corrections. If it needs correcting, we go back over what the mistake is, how the mistake was made and how to fix it. If they've done the assignment with no corrections, I let them know how proud I am of them for their hard work and they then run off to dad to show him what they've done. Of course our kids are still young enough that it's enough for them to keep working harder by receiving praise and encouragement from their parents.
So I thought long and hard about it and talked with Josh about it. Should we be giving grades? Should the kids be expecting to see an "A" or "B" or whatnot on their papers? Is it enough that we work on their mistakes and then on to the next assignment/subject/etc? Is it fine that we give them praise and encouragement to keep up the good work? Then I remember back to my own school days and how I used to stress over what my report card would say and whether or not my parents would be pleased or disappointed. I have to ask myself what is the point of giving grades and what purpose would it serve with our kids. Plus, out in the real world, no one is giving out grades. Your work is more or less critiqued as you go and as more often than not you are lucky to get anything more than a "keep doing what you're doing". The more I ponder, the more I just don't see how giving out grades would benefit our kids.
I think we'll stick with what we're doing.
I had to work hard to not laugh right out loud when the receptionist spoke to Joey and told him she had something for him to fill out, considering that he has down syndrome and can't read let alone give written answers. ;) So, we sat down and went over it together. As expected, most of the questions didn't apply to Joey mainly because intelligence-wise they just didn't relate to him. But I came across one question that made me stop and think. The question was if he's happy with his grades. The problem is, we don't give grades.
I have never given my kids "grades" or graded their work. Plus I'm not sure how to assign grades. Personally, I've never liked grades. I've always felt that if a student knows the concept, does a good job on the work and shows they are learning from it, then why are grades necessary? Some would argue so the child will have something to show for their efforts or that they need the reinforcement from seeing how well they've done by a letter grade or that kids need the incentive to work to achieve the next level and other arguments. But, again, I just don't see the need for them for our children. I have taught the boys in the manner that they get their assignment, complete their work then bring the work for me to look over and mark for corrections. If it needs correcting, we go back over what the mistake is, how the mistake was made and how to fix it. If they've done the assignment with no corrections, I let them know how proud I am of them for their hard work and they then run off to dad to show him what they've done. Of course our kids are still young enough that it's enough for them to keep working harder by receiving praise and encouragement from their parents.
So I thought long and hard about it and talked with Josh about it. Should we be giving grades? Should the kids be expecting to see an "A" or "B" or whatnot on their papers? Is it enough that we work on their mistakes and then on to the next assignment/subject/etc? Is it fine that we give them praise and encouragement to keep up the good work? Then I remember back to my own school days and how I used to stress over what my report card would say and whether or not my parents would be pleased or disappointed. I have to ask myself what is the point of giving grades and what purpose would it serve with our kids. Plus, out in the real world, no one is giving out grades. Your work is more or less critiqued as you go and as more often than not you are lucky to get anything more than a "keep doing what you're doing". The more I ponder, the more I just don't see how giving out grades would benefit our kids.
I think we'll stick with what we're doing.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
A good hearty laugh
Joey is the silliest kid and it is beyond impossible to not enjoy his outlook on life. When Joey gets to laughing you can't help but laugh along with him. Joey is always laughing, always smiling, always looking at each day as a brand new opportunity to laugh out loud.
Last night Joey was in my parents' basement watching a movie and all of a sudden we hear this loud belly laugh. Both my mom and I burst out laughing at the sound. Joey always puts a smile on my face. What's truly funny is that Joey will laugh loudest when everyone around him is laughing and joyful. It's so heartwarming to see that Joey's greatest joy is in seeing everyone around him happy and full of laughter.
I sometimes think Joey's purpose in life is to make people smile. I have yet to meet a person that has not been able to smile at Joey, a true smile not a polite smile. Joey has such a wonderful sense of happiness in everything in his life. It's contagious. His smile really does light up the room.
I do need to pay closer attention to Joey's attitude about things. Joey will always find a way to see the funny side of things. It's time for Mommy to start looking at life that way, too. Time to look for the reasons to smile and laugh and enjoy life as much as possible.
Last night Joey was in my parents' basement watching a movie and all of a sudden we hear this loud belly laugh. Both my mom and I burst out laughing at the sound. Joey always puts a smile on my face. What's truly funny is that Joey will laugh loudest when everyone around him is laughing and joyful. It's so heartwarming to see that Joey's greatest joy is in seeing everyone around him happy and full of laughter.
I sometimes think Joey's purpose in life is to make people smile. I have yet to meet a person that has not been able to smile at Joey, a true smile not a polite smile. Joey has such a wonderful sense of happiness in everything in his life. It's contagious. His smile really does light up the room.
I do need to pay closer attention to Joey's attitude about things. Joey will always find a way to see the funny side of things. It's time for Mommy to start looking at life that way, too. Time to look for the reasons to smile and laugh and enjoy life as much as possible.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Day 1 Nature study journey
The day dawned bright and sunny, just a light wind sweeping fluffy white clouds over a beautiful blue sky. The perfect day to be outside and enjoy it. Okay, enough with waxing poetic.
It's too nice a day to stay inside so I got the kids ready and we went for a walk. I gave Jaysen an assignment, pick two flowers to take home and pay attention to everything going on around you. We didn't go far, I still have some trouble breathing and didn't want to overdo it, but far enough that the kids got to enjoy the wind blowing and the sun shining. We listened to a rooster crowing away and watching sheep grazing in their pasture. We stopped to watch a small group of young bulls in their pen, some even came up close to the fence to eyeball these goofy kids of mine. Katie jabbered away to the cows; what 3 year old doesn't enjoy a lively conversation with a muddy black cow?
Jaysen commented on all the different kinds of dogs we saw in yards; old dogs and young dogs, everything from a mini Pincher to an English bulldog. There were few houses that we didn't have a dog dash up to the fence and bark its greeting. There aren't many flowers blooming just yet as spring is really just getting going here but we saw daffodils and crocus and some other flowers we don't know the names of yet. Shades of purple, yellow, blue and orange. The trees are just beginning to bloom and it's nice to see the light haze of green spreading through the tree tops. Yards are turning all shades of green as the new spring grass is beginning to really take off in it's growth.
When we got back I had Jaysen draw a picture of the flowers we found. We had to search hard to find something and what we found was tiny. Jaysen could draw a nice picture but trying to identify the different parts of the flower was tricky. We will try to find out what kinds of flowers we found online later. We did our best then Jaysen went out to play with his little sister. The best part of the day was listening to Jaysen point out the different things in the yard to his sister. Of course, Katie could care less about it all and the only thing that interested her was trying to chase a bird they saw. But it was cool to see that Jaysen enjoyed the activity and did his best to include his little sister. Then he gave up and they went to find some Nerf guns.
I'm looking forward to the spring and summer and helping to open up the natural world of God's creation to the kids. I can't take credit for the assignment idea. I found a wonderful blog full of great idea's and our assignment was based off the one I was sent in the email I got today. Check it out, it's really cool! Handbook of Nature Study
It's too nice a day to stay inside so I got the kids ready and we went for a walk. I gave Jaysen an assignment, pick two flowers to take home and pay attention to everything going on around you. We didn't go far, I still have some trouble breathing and didn't want to overdo it, but far enough that the kids got to enjoy the wind blowing and the sun shining. We listened to a rooster crowing away and watching sheep grazing in their pasture. We stopped to watch a small group of young bulls in their pen, some even came up close to the fence to eyeball these goofy kids of mine. Katie jabbered away to the cows; what 3 year old doesn't enjoy a lively conversation with a muddy black cow?
Jaysen commented on all the different kinds of dogs we saw in yards; old dogs and young dogs, everything from a mini Pincher to an English bulldog. There were few houses that we didn't have a dog dash up to the fence and bark its greeting. There aren't many flowers blooming just yet as spring is really just getting going here but we saw daffodils and crocus and some other flowers we don't know the names of yet. Shades of purple, yellow, blue and orange. The trees are just beginning to bloom and it's nice to see the light haze of green spreading through the tree tops. Yards are turning all shades of green as the new spring grass is beginning to really take off in it's growth.
When we got back I had Jaysen draw a picture of the flowers we found. We had to search hard to find something and what we found was tiny. Jaysen could draw a nice picture but trying to identify the different parts of the flower was tricky. We will try to find out what kinds of flowers we found online later. We did our best then Jaysen went out to play with his little sister. The best part of the day was listening to Jaysen point out the different things in the yard to his sister. Of course, Katie could care less about it all and the only thing that interested her was trying to chase a bird they saw. But it was cool to see that Jaysen enjoyed the activity and did his best to include his little sister. Then he gave up and they went to find some Nerf guns.
I'm looking forward to the spring and summer and helping to open up the natural world of God's creation to the kids. I can't take credit for the assignment idea. I found a wonderful blog full of great idea's and our assignment was based off the one I was sent in the email I got today. Check it out, it's really cool! Handbook of Nature Study
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