Thursday, April 12, 2012

Changing the view

Josh and I have started a marriage Bible study at home together recently and one of the questions stuck with me a lot. It essentially asked which of your views on marriage have changed the most since you first married. I like that question and I think it's a good one for couples to revisit periodically over the years.

My answer to that question is that I"ve come to realize that it's okay for me, as wife and mother, to spend some time by myself. That I don't have to dedicate each and every momemt to caring for my husband and kids. In fact, I need that time to myself to sort of "reboot" my mind and refresh myself. To remember that I am still an individual that has different needs than my family and it's okay for me to spend time doing the things I like to do.

I used to not understand what some women meant when they would say things like "I'm afraid to get married because I'm afraid of losing myself, losing my identity". I didn't get what the big deal was. But I have begun to understand. It is easy to "lose yourself" when you get married. You can get so caught up in taking care of your husband and kids that you forget that you have different interests and passions and it's okay to enjoy them. I know that when I become too focused on meeting the needs of Josh and the kids and forget myself, I get dull and boring and listless. I stop caring about how I look, how the house looks, etc. And Josh has begun to notice when those times hit. He encourages me to spend time by myself, to get refocused and relax. He knows it helps me to be a better wife and mother.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

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